Never be lied 7

GENERAL INDICATIONS OF DECEIT

The following is a mixed bag of clues that indicate 

deception. They can be used with great reliability by 

themselves or in conjunction with other clues.

CLUE 31

Whew, I'm Sure Glad That's Over

Watch and listen carefully during a conversation 

when the subject is changed. Does he become 

happier? Does he seem more relaxed? He may even 

offer a smile or nervous laugh. Notice his posture. 

Does it become more relaxed and less defensive? The 

giveaway here is how fast and dramatically his mood 

changes, indicating his discomfort with the previous 

subject matter. Test him to see if he's quick to change 

the subject. If he has been accused of something 

abominable and is innocent, he will resent the 

accusations and will insist that the topic be explored 

further, either now or at some future date. 

Remember, the guilty wants the subject changed; 

the innocent always wants a further exchange of 

information.

CLUE 32

How Dare You Accuse Me?

If he is accused of something harsh and is not 

indignant and offended that his honour has been 

questioned, this is a highly reliable sign that he's been 

caught off guard. It's been said that during the 

preliminary stages of the 0. J. Simpson investigation, 

detectives thought it curious that Simpson did not 

appear to be outraged by the accusation that he had 

murdered his ex-wife and her friend Ron Goldman.

While he is being accused the liar will remain 

fairly expressionless, like a student being admonished 

by his principal. A look as if to say "What?!" will not 

be present. The liar is more concerned with how he is 

going to respond than he is with the accusation itself. 

CLUE 33

Never Believe AnyoneWho Says This

Have you ever met someone who insisted on starting 

statements with phrases such as "To be perfectly 

honest," "To be frank," or "To tell you the truth"? 

Someone who is telling the truth doesn't need to 

convince you before he gets his words out. Some 

people habitually use these phrases. Such expressions 

mean literally that everything that came before them 

is a lie, everything that will come after will be a lie, 

but for now he's decided to pause to tell you the 

truth. If these phrases are not part of a person's 

usual verbal repertoire, watch out! If someone's 

going to tell you the truth, it's unlikely that he would 

start off by saying just that. If he feels the need to tell 

you that he's being honest and that you're about to 

receive the whole truth, you can be pretty sure you're 

not getting it.

Also included in this clue is the ever-pervasive and 

always annoying phrase "Why would I lie to you?" If 

you receive this response to an accusation you've 

made, be suspicious. If he's being accused of 

something, he probably has an excellent reason to lie.

I cannot tell a lie. Or can I? The phrase "I never 

lie" should always be received with caution. Anyone 

who needs to declare his virtuous nature does so 

because there is no other way for you to find out. 

Some people will say just about anything to sound 

believable, even lie straight to your face. One's 

honour should speak for itself. When a person tells 

you that he is the most honest person that you will ever 

meet, don't walk away—run.

CLUE 34

I've Got My Answer Down Pat

If his answer sounds pat and well rehearsed, there's a 

fair chance that he was expecting the question and 

took the time to get his story straight. Having facts 

and details at your fingertips that should not be easily 

recalled is a good indication that you have prepared. 

For instance, suppose Samantha, when asked where 

she was on a particular day two months ago, responds 

with, "I went to work, left at five-thirty, had dinner at 

Caracella's until seven forty-five, and then went 

straight home."

Law enforcement officers are aware of and use this 

clue with great results. Suppose a police detective 

questions a suspect. If the suspect is able to recall what 

he did and where he was on a given date two years 

earlier, something is very wrong. Most of us can't 

remember what we had for breakfast yesterday 

morning!

Rehearsed answers also provide a person with a 

way of giving you information that you never asked 

for, information that they want known. Politicians are 

famous for answering questions that were never 

asked. They have an agenda that will come out 

regardless of the questions put to them. Sometimes 

they don't even bother to rework the question; they 

just take off in their own direction. During the 

William Kennedy Smith rape trial, Smith's uncle Ted 

Kennedy was called as a defence witness to testify 

about to his knowledge of the day. In just minutes 

the courtroom was treated to Kennedy's taking us 

through the history of his family, the death of his 

brothers, and the trials and tribulations of his life. 

The courtroom was mesmerized. This was done to 

evoke the Kennedy aura and charm for the benefit of 

William Kennedy Smith. Whether it had a direct 

impact or not is hard to say, but Smith was found 

not guilty.

CLUE 35

Can You Repeat the Question, Please?

Instead of hemming and hawing, he may resort to 

one of the following statements to buy himself some 

time, to review the best course of action, to prepare 

his answer, or to shift the topic entirely. They are all 

designed to delay his answer. For example, you ask 

someone hold old he is and he responds with "How 

old do you think I am?" It's obvious that your answer 

may influence his. Here are some of the more popular 

ones.

1. "Could you repeat the question?" 

2. "It depends on how you look at it." 

3. "What's your point exactly?" 

4. "Why would you ask something like that?" 

5. "Where did you hear that?" 

6. "Where is this coming from?" 

7. "Could you be more specific?" 

8. "How dare you ask me something like that?" 

9. "I think we both know the answer to that." 

10. "Well, it's not so simple as yes or no." 

11. "That's an excellent question. It deserves 

some 

thought." 

12. "Can you keep a secret? Great. So can I." 

13. "I'm not sure this is the best place to discuss 

this." 

14. The person repeats your question back to you, 

an attempt at sounding incredulous. For example, 

"Did I sell you a puppy with a heart condition? Is 

that what you're asking me?" 

CLUE 36

Sleight of Mouth

You've heard the old saying "If it sounds too 

good to be true, then it probably is." During the 0. 

J. Simpson trial, Detective Mark Fuhrman said on 

the witness stand and under oath that he had never 

in the past ten years used a specific racial epithet. 

Almost no one—including the jury—believed that 

this was true. He would have been deemed as much 

more credible had he admitted to using racial 

epithets on occasion and with regret. But saying he 

never used them in any context seemed highly 

implausible. And indeed, the evidence later proved 

him to be a liar, forcing him to assert his Fifth 

Amendment privilege to avoid self-incrimination. If 

something sounds implausible, investigate further—

no matter how convincing the person is.

CLUE 37

Tricky Dicky

There is also such a thing as a lie through 

implication instead of expression. During the 1960 

presidential campaign, Richard Nixon sought to 

remind Americans that his opponent John F. 

Kennedy was Catholic, not Protestant. We had 

never had a Catholic president before, and Nixon 

thought the fact that Kennedy was Catholic might 

make the American people uneasy. Blatantly 

reminding the public of his opponent's religion 

would make him look bad. So, in keeping with his 

reputation and according to the wisdom of politics, 

Nixon said the following: "I don't want anyone not 

to vote for John Kennedy because he is a Catholic." 

The intent was obviously different from the 

message, but he got his point across nicely. 

Although as history later proved, his effort was 

futile.

Whenever someone makes a point of telling you 

what they're not doing, you can be sure it's exactly 

what they are doing. The preamble is what they really 

mean. After a blind date, Jim was informed by the 

woman he went out with that she's very busy for the 

next few weeks but that she doesn't want him to think 

she's blowing him off. If that was not her intention, 

then it wouldn't have occurred to her to say that. 

When you hear, "Not to hurt your feelings, but. . ." 

you can be sure that this person doesn't mind hurting 

your feelings.

Another clever way of lying through implying 

comes in the form of a denial. It works like this. 

Let's say that an agent is attempting to convince a 

casting director to cast his client, John Jones, instead 

of another actor, Sam Smith. The agent casually 

mentions to the casting director that Sam was at the 

Betty Ford Clinic last month, but heard it was only 

to see a friend. Now the casting director wonders if 

Sam has an alcohol or drug problem. Had the agent 

simply said that Sam was there to get treatment, the 

casting director would have been suspicious of his 

intentions in mentioning it. By stating it in the form of 

a denial, he implants the suggestion without 

suspicion.

Let's look at another example. You hear, "He's 

having marital problems, but it has nothing to do 

with his wife's new job." What's the first thing you 

ask? "What does his wife do?" Suddenly you're in the 

exact conversation that is "supposed" to have no 

bearing on the facts. Clever, isn't it? Don't be misled.

CLUE 38

Don't Be Ridiculous

Beware of the person who uses humour and sarcasm to 

defuse your concerns. For instance, you ask one of your 

salespeople if she met with the competition and she 

replies, "Sure did. We meet every day in a secret 

warehouse. You can get in only if you know the 

special knock. It's there where we discuss the eventual 

downfall of your business empire." This makes you 

feel foolish about inquiring further. And she knows 

it. When you ask a serious question, you should expect a direct response.

CLUE 39

We're Out of Stock

Have you ever had the salesman tell you that the item 

you were looking for is inferior to another one? And 

as it turns out, the one that you want happens to 

be out of stock.

Clearly, he would have beenmuch more believable if 

he had said he did have what you wanted but 

preferred to show you something even better. So 

before you accept someone at his word that he has 

something better to offer, first see whether he has 

what you originally asked for. If he doesn't, there's a 

better than even chance that you shouldn't believe 

him.

CLUE 40

The Number Zone

There's an old saying that goes, "If you always tell the 

truth, then you'll never have to remember anything." 

When a liar speaks, in an attempt to appear fluid, he 

will often fall into the number zone. This is when all 

of the numbers he mentions are the same or multiples 

of one another. This happens because he is thinking 

fast and is trying to remember what he's saying. A 

typical exchange during a job interview might go as 

follows:

Ms. SMITH: SO, Mark, how many years' experience 

do you

have in restaurant management? 

MARK: At the three places I've worked, I've had 

about six years experience in total. 

Ms. SMITH: Tell me a little bit about your experience at 

these

places. 

MARK: Well, I would put in sixty-hour weeks. And I 

was in

charge of a crew of about twelve . . . 

Watch out when facts, figures, and information 

have unusual similarities.

CLUE 41

Nervous Nellie

While we can control some gestures, the following 

are involuntary responses thatwe have little or no 

control over:

The fight-or-flight syndrome: A person's face 

may become flushed or, with extreme fear, can turn 

white. Look for signs of rapid breathing and increased 

perspiration. Additionally, take note if he is trying to 

control his breathing to calm himself. This will 

appear as deep, audible inhaling and exhaling.

Trembling or shaking in voice and body: His 

hands may tremble. If he is hiding his hands, it might 

be an attempt to hide uncontrollable shaking. His 

voice may crack and seem inconsistent.

This is hard to swallow: Swallowing becomes 

difficult, so look for a hard swallow. Television or 

movie actors who wish to express fear or sadness 

often use this behaviour— hence the expression "all 

choked up." Also indicative is a clearing of the throat. 

Due to anxiety, mucus forms in the throat. A public 

speaker who is nervous often clears his throat before 

speaking. 

A choir boy, he's not! Vocal chords, like all 

muscles, tighten when a person is stressed. This will 

produce a higher sound, octave, and/or pitch.

I'm sorry, you said what?  When we're under 

stress, our ability to focus on something is often 

diminished. Have you ever met someone at a party 

and forgotten his name right after you're introduced? 

Look for signs of distraction and an inability to pay 

attention to what's going on.

The whistler: Whistling seems to be a universal 

action to relax oneself when one is frightened or 

anxious, and is an unconscious attempt to build up 

courage or confidence. Most people have little tells-

—gestures used when they are nervous. They may rub 

an ear for reassurance or plaster on a fake smile to 

boost their confidence.

CLUE 42

Oh So Clever

The ancient sport of Judo has a fundamental 

philosophy: do not confront force with force; instead 

use your opponent's strength and turn it against him. 

The purveyors of this clue never get defensive or 

argue, they simply use your own words to support 

their claim.

Let's say that a guard is standing watch over a 

restricted area. It's his job to check ID s of those who 

enter. "I'm not sure you have, authorization," he says 

to a man attempting

access. "I'm not surprised," answered the man, "only a 

few people are aware of my clearance level. My work 

here is not supposed to be known by everyone."

Do you see how quickly the man verbally 

disarmed the guard? Had he started to argue and 

insist that he had clearance and that the guard was a 

fool for not knowing, he would have met with a wall 

of resistance. Rather, he agrees with the guard, and 

explains that the reason why the guard thought he 

didn't have authorization is the very reason why he 

does have authorization.

A certain bagel company overcame an obvious 

marketing problem by using this same practice. The 

company sells frozen bagels, yet it wanted to project 

an image of freshness, a characteristic that to most of 

us is the opposite of frozen. Their solution? The 

slogan "They taste best because they're frozen." 

Watch out when someone tries to use an obvious fact 

to support a questionable assertion.

CLUE 43

The Moral Assumption

This clue is so clever and pervasive that once you hear 

about it, you'll probably realize that it has already 

been used on you many times. The genesis of this clue 

comes courtesy of human nature. We all have an 

inherent need for order, for continuity and 

consistency.

The purveyor of deceit demonstrates characteristics 

with a specific moral bent sothat other of his actions 

will be seen

in that light. An example will clarify. Let's say that 

Joe, the financial officer of a large corporation, thinks 

that you may be on to his embezzlement scheme. He 

knows that you have no real proof, but he wants to 

throw you off the track. What might he do? In your 

presence, he may openly chastise another employee 

for "borrowing" some office supplies for her personal 

use at home. Your impression is that Joe is a moral 

person who objects to something as minor as stealing 

office supplies. Certainly he cannot be responsible for a 

large-scale embezzlement scheme.

A wife who is concerned that her husband 

suspects her of having a brief affair (which she did 

indeed have) might say something like this: "Honey, 

do you remember Harvey, Sally's husband? Well, 

Jill told me that they're having problems because 

Harvey kissed a co-worker at the Christmas party. If 

you ask me, she should leave that no-good piece of 

garbage. Who knows what else he's done? Even if 

that was it, what is going through his mind? What an 

idiot!"

This is going to put serious doubts in the 

mind of this woman's husband that she would ever 

be unfaithful to him. 

CLUE 44

Oh, by the Way

Beware if she casually tells you something that 

should deserve more attention. For example, she 

says, "Oh, by the

way, I've got to go out of town next weekend on 

business." If she doesn't usually travel for work on 

the weekends, then you would expect her to make a 

point of how unusual the trip is. Her downplaying 

the trip makes it suspicious.

When something out of the ordinary happens and 

the person doesn't draw attention to it, it means that 

she is trying to draw attention away from it. And for 

this there is usually a reason. Another tactic is 

running off a long list of items in the hope that one 

will remain unnoticed. Magicians, who are experts 

at slight-of-hand, know that their effectiveness lies 

in their ability to draw your attention where they 

want it to go. When your attention is being 

directed one way, check to see what lies the other 

way.

CLUE 45

Lots of Lies

If you catch a person in one lie, it makes good sense 

to question everything else that person has said. 

Let's say you're buying a car and the salesman says 

that you must act quickly because two other people 

have looked at this car and it's the last one in stock. 

Say something like "I hear that this model retains its 

value better than most others, isn't that true?" Or "I 

heard that they're going to raise the prices on next 

year's model substantially." These are statements an 

honest salesperson will question if he or she hasn't 

heard

any such thing. However, if your salesperson is 

quick to agree with you, it means that he would say 

almost anything to make the sale—which also 

means that he probably doesn't have anyone else 

interested in the car, even though he's claimed 

otherwise. If you can, try to find out if this person 

has a reputation for being deceitful. Honesty is a 

function of character,  and character is not 

something that is easily changed.

CLUE 46

Wild, Wild, Wild

"You're not going to believe what happened to me!" 

How many times have we heard that phrase? Common 

sense dictates that if we want someone to believe us, 

we should make our story or explanation as believable 

as possible. This is usually true, but not always. 

Sometimes the more outrageous a story is, the more 

believable it becomes. Why? Because we think to 

ourselves, If this person wanted to lie to me, he'd 

probably have come up with something a little less 

far-fetched.  So in this cleverdeception the liar 

embellishes his story and simply offers the phrase 

"Don't you think that if I was going to lie to you, I'd 

come up something a little more believable? You just 

can't make this stuff up." When in fact that's exactly 

what he's done.

SUMMARY

•  When the subject is changed, he's in a better, 

more relaxed mood.

•  He does not become indignant when falsely 

accused. 

•  He uses such phrases as "To tell you the 

truth," "To be perfectly honest," and "Why 

would I lie to you?" 

•  He has an answer to your question down pat. 

•  He stalls by asking you to repeat the 

question or by answering your question with 

a question. 

•  What he's saying sounds implausible. 

•  He offers a preamble to his statement 

starting with "I don't want you to think 

that ..." Often that's exactly what he wants 

you to think.

•  She uses humour or sarcasm to defuse your 

concerns.

•  He offers you a "better" alternative to your 

request when he is unable to give you what 

you originally asked for.

•  All of his facts relating to numbers are the 

same or multiples of one another.
There is evidence of involuntary responses
that are anxiety based.
•  He uses an obvious fact to support a dubious
action. She casually tells you something that
deserves more attention.
•  He exclaims his displeasure at the actions of
another who has done something similar so
that you will not suspect him.
•  If he lies about one thing, everything he says is
questionable.
•  His story is so wild that you almost don't
believe it. But you do, because if he wanted
to lie, you think that he would have come up
with something more plausible.