Never be lied 11

GENERAL CONVERSATIONS 

1. Ask-a-Fact

During the conversation simply ask general, clear questions 

pertaining to your suspicion. This causes the person you are 

questioning to recall information.If he spoke the truth, then 

he will answer you quickly and effortlessly. If he was lying, 

your clues to deceit will let you know. Most important, note 

how long it takes him to call up the information. If he's 

lying, he'll take a while to answer because he first has to 

check his response mentally to be sure it makes sense. Madeup stories do not have details because they never happened! 

Ask questions that will give you an objective, not a subjective, response. For instance, if you think an employee was 

home when he said he would be away on vacation, don't 

ask him how he enjoyed the weather in Florida. People generally take longer to respond to these type of questions. Instead, ask one such as "Did you rent a car?" Casually ask 

more questions in the same vein. Once he answers yes to 

any question, ask for more detail.If he's lying, he'll try to 

keep the facts straight and will take his time answering fur 

ther questions. People love to talk about themselves. The 

only way that someone would want to change the subject 

is if he's uncomfortable with the questions. If you're 

asking simple, innocuous questions you should expect that 

he would want to extend the conversation, not end it. 

Most people will love to go on endlessly about the new restaurant they went to, the trip they took or the job they 

turned down . . . unless of course they're lying and you keep 

asking questions.

2. Add-a-False Fact

In this sequence you add a fact and ask the person to comment on it. This fact is one that you've made up, but one 

that sounds perfectly reasonable.For instance, let's say that 

while you are at a party someone proclaims that he has just 

returned from an East African safari. You could tell him 

that you heard that East Africa had had record hot temperatures. This is a fact that he might be able to confirm or 

deny regardless of whether he had actually been there. Furthermore, he could just plead ignorance of the fact and proclaim that it was very, very hot. Either way you're unable 

to detect deceit. 

Here's how you can detect it. You can mention that your 

uncle who works as a customs officer at the Nairobi airport 

told you that everyone going to Africa was given special 

instructions on how to avoid malaria. As soon ashe validates 

your claim in an attempt to back up his assertion that he 

has gone to Africa, you know that his story is untrue. Otherwise he would simply say that he doesn't know what your 

uncle is talking about. 

Here are the criteria:

a. Your statement has to be untrue. If he merely confirms 

something that's actually true, you haven't learned anything 

new.

b. It has to sound reasonable. Otherwise the person you 

are questioning might think it's a joke.

c. Your assertion has to be something that would directly 

affect the person, so he would have firsthand knowledge of 

this "fact." In other words, in the above scenario you 

wouldn't say you heard that the tilt of the earth's axis made 

for exceptional viewing of the night sky.

3. Support-a-Fact

In this sequence you take what the person says and request 

proof, but in a very non-threatening manner. For example, 

in the case of the person who claimed he had gone on safari, 

you might let him know that you would love to see pictures 

of the trip. If he offers up a reason why you can't see the 

pictures—didn't take any, didn'tcome out right, left lens 

cap on—then this shouldarouse some suspicion.

Let's say you're a talk-show producer and you want to 

check the credibility of a guest. You might say, "Your story 

about this government conspiracy is fascinating. Since you 

worked in the building, it would be great if you would show 

us your security access card."

4. Expand-a-Fact

Use this clue to determine how far someone is willing to go 

to get what she wants. All you do is expand on a fact that 

she has already offered. If she just goes on without 

correcting you, then you know that she may be lying 

about what she's said so far and/or is willing to lie to get 

you to see her point. Let's say that you and your friend are 

deciding on what movie to see. You suggest Lost in 

Paradise, but your friend, who doesn't want to see this, 

offers as evidence a co-worker who has already seen it 

and didn't like it. You then say, "Oh, well, if no one in your 

office liked it, I guess it's probably no good." If she lets it 

go at that—not correcting your false assertion—then you 

know that she either lied initially about her co-worker or 

will lie in this situation. Let's take another example. Your 

secretary asks you for the rest of the day off because she's 

not feeling well. You might say, "Oh, of course, if you've 

got a fever and a bad headache, by all means take off." She 

never claimed to have these symptoms. You merely 

expanded on her statement. Again, if she does not correct 

you, she is clearly either lying about being ill or willing to 

agree to anything to go home. Of course she may simply be 

sick and eager to get home. However, her not correcting 

your statement indicates that she does not mind being 

deceitful to get what she wants.

SPECIAL OCCASIONS

These strategies are used when a person is reluctant to 

reveal information for unselfish reasons. Or the situation is such that you have to be very delicate in your 

approach. These people are coming from a different psychological position, so the situation must be addressed

uniquely. The strategies usually fall into one of the following 

ten categories.

Third-Party Protection

This tactic is a little different in that it is used if someone is 

reluctant to tell you something that involves another person. You have to appeal to his ego and let him forget that 

he's telling tales out of school.

Scenario A

Your attorney is telling you about a case that a fellow attorney screwed up on. Simply asking, "What did he do 

wrong?" would probably get you nowhere. However, by 

turning it around you create an incentive for him to tell you.

Sample question formation: "Had you handled the case, 

what would you have done differently?" This magic phrase 

opens the floodgates of conversation. 

Scenario B

While chatting with Brad, one of your salespeople, you 

would like to find out why Susan's sales figures are low. But 

simply asking him why she's not doing well might prove 

fruitless. Out of loyalty to her, he may be reluctant to say

anything. So you turn the question around and he becomes 

completely forthcoming.

Sample question formation: "What areas do you think 

Susan can improve in?"

In both of these scenarios the conversation is positive. 

The other person feels as if he's doing a good thing by answering your question. And in fact he is. Had you asked it 

the other way around, you would likely have met with great 

reluctance to speak.

2

The Power Play

Sometimes the person reluctant to tell the truth is in a position of power. In these situations it's usually inappropriate 

and futile to become argumentative. In these instances you 

want to bring the conversation to a personal level. Here are 

two examples of how this is done.

Scenario A

You're trying to sell to a buyer who doesn't want to buy and 

is not giving you a reason that you truly believe. Your objective will be to get to the real objection.

Sample question formation: "I do this for a living. My 

family relies on me to support them. Clearly we have a fine

product and you're a reasonable man. Would you mind telling me what I did to offend you?"

Now your buyer is caught off guard and will undoubtedly 

follow with "Oh, you didn't offend me. It's just that. . ."

Offend is a powerful word. Now you'll get the real objection because he figures that telling you the truth is the only 

way to show you that you haven't offended him. 

Scenario B

Your boss is reluctant to tell you exactly why you were 

passed up for the promotion.

Sample question formation: "Ms. Smith, I understand 

where you're coming from, and I respect your thoughts. 

Someday I hope to be as successful in this company as you 

are today. Let me ask you one question, if I may? If you 

were me, sitting in this chair now, do you think that you 

would have a better chance of moving up in the company if 

you were aware of your shortcomings?"

3

Hurt Feelings

In this situation someone is lying to you to protect your 

feelings—perhaps one of those little white lies. You're interested in getting at the truth. A touch of guilt makes the 

other person re-evaluate his approach.

Scenario

You feel that the truth is being withheld from you for your 

own benefit.

Sample question formation I: "I know you don't want 

to offend me, but you're hurting me more by not being perfectly honest." Using the word perfectly here serves a purpose. It gives the person credit for being partially honest 

with you.

Sample question formation II: "If you don't tell me, no 

one else will. If I can't count on you for this, I don't know 

what I would do. "

It's a Matter of Opinion

Trying to detect deceit in a person's opinion is hard. You 

can't exactly call someone a liar, arguing that she doesn't 

really believe what she is saying to be the truth. The following is an excellent method for revealing a person's true feelings in any situation. 

Scenario A

You're not sure if your boss really likes your idea for a new 

advertising campaign, even though she says she does.

Sample question sequence I:

"Do you like the concept for my new idea?"

"Sure. It's very original."

"Well, what would it take for you to love the idea?"

In this example your boss has committed to liking the 

idea. You don't argue with her or press her on it. The words 

you use in your response indicate that you know there is 

room for improvement. She feels comfortable offering criticism because she feels that you expect her to do so.

Scenario B

You want to know if your son is looking forward to going 

to camp this summer.

Sample question sequence II:

"Are you excited about camp next month?" 

"Yeah. It'll be fun."

"What would it take for you to be really excited 

about going?"

Again, he feels comfortable answering honestly because 

your questions to him make it obvious that you know that 

everything's not perfect.

5

I Don't Know

Most people don't like to be wrong. Furthermore, most people don't like to be put in a situation where they feel they 

have to defend themselves. As a result, oftentimes when you 

ask someone what she is thinking or how she feels, she replies, "I don't know." This response can stall a conversation 

and leave you searching for answers. Sometimes it's just 

easier to say 

U

I don't know," which is often why we say it 

in the first place. Either way, when you hear "I don't know," 

try some of the following responses:

1. "Okay, then why don't you tell me how you've come to 

think the way you do?" 

2. "I know you don't know, but if you were to guess, what 

do you think it might be?" 

3. "Can you tell me what part of this you're okay with?" 

4. "In what past situations have you felt similar to this 

one?" 

5. "What emotion best describes what you're thinking right 

now?" 

6. "Can you think of just one reason?" 

7. "What one word comes closest to describing what you're 

thinking?" 

In all of these responses, you're taking the pressure off. 

You acknowledge the person's difficulty in answering. You 

then seem to be asking her to provide something else, when 

in reality your new question is aimed at getting your initial 

question answered.

"I don't know" could also mean that the person feels guilty 

or foolish about her actions. In this case you want to relieve 

her of the responsibility. This is done in the following way:

Sample question formation: "I know you're not sure 

about why you did that, so can you think of any unconscious 

motivations that may have been at work?" This works well 

because she doesn't have to feelresponsible for her actions. 

It was not her "intention" to do what she did. Her 

behaviour was not consciously motivated.

I'm Simply Embarrassed

In this encounter someone is unwilling to tell you the truth 

or may lie to you out of embarrassment. The usual tactics 

don't work here because the person probably isn't obligated 

to tell you and more than likely will have nothing to gain 

by doing so. Therefore you needto create an incentive for 

telling the truth in an environment that makes him feel comfortable.

Scenario A

Your son doesn't want to tell you about the bully who took 

his lunch money.

Sample question formation: "It's okay if you don't want 

to talk about it. [This is a key phrase because it instantly

disarms the other person. It lets them know that he's not 

going to get verbally beaten up.] When I was your age the 

same thing happened to me. And after I learned what to say 

to him, he never bothered me again. Would you like to hear 

what you can do?" 

Scenario B

As a physician you're speaking with a patient who is reluctant to discuss her previous sexual relationships.

Sample question formation: "I understand your hesitancy, and if you would prefer not to discuss it, then we 

won't. Whenever I have a patient who feels uncomfortable 

I do it this way and it's much easier and quicker. I'm going 

to ask you simple yes-or-no questions and you respond accordingly."

This works well because the patient knows that there 

won't be an embarrassing discussion or elaboration of anything she says. The yes-or-no format can be used with just 

about anyone in any situation that makes one uncomfortable revealing personal information.

Scenario C

You want to find out if the foreman of your construction 

crew has been thinking of leaving your company.

Sample question formation: "Mike, on a scale from one 

to ten, where one means you've only thought about looking

for other work and ten means you're very interested in going 

with another company, where might you fit in?"

Three important criteria need to be kept in mind. First, 

notice that you don't say "where do you fall?" as it is typically phrased. The word fall is downward and negative. It 

puts his focus lower on the number line. "Fit in" directs his 

thinking between two numbers and is positive. Second, the 

word might is used to cushion his association to his answer, 

helping him to feel less attached to it.

Finally, notice too, that you don't say on a scale from one 

to ten where one is no interest. You allowed him to answer 

with the "easiest option" offered. If, in fact, he had no interest whatsoever, then he would go outside the parameters 

of your question and be free to tell you just that.

Scenario D

You think the new intern mixed up two piles of papers 

and shredded the documents that were supposed to be 

copied. 

Sample question formation: "Nelson, if you're the one 

who did this, it's all right. I remember when I first started 

here. What I'm going to tell you is between you and me, 

okay? Good. I once made copies of a confidential memo 

instead of the lunch menu and placed a copy in each person's mailbox."

The best way to get someone to confide in you is for 

you to confide in him. This instantly puts the other person 

at ease. It shows that you trust him, and he also feels

obligated to share with you something he's done that he feels 

uncomfortable with.

Divide and Conquer

This is a situation where there are two or more people from 

whom you can get the truth. The mistake that most of us 

make is to say something like "Come on, guys. Somebody 

tell me what's going on here!" We find ourselves sounding 

a lot like M*A*S*Hs Frank Burns—looking for cooperation 

everywhere and finding it nowhere. This plea is often ineffective because of a psychological phenomenon known as 

social responsibility.

Have you ever heard somebody scream from an apartment window? While most of us have been in such a situation, we don't feel any strong inclination to do anything 

about it. It's not because we're cold and uncaring. It's because the social responsibility to act is divided among many 

people. Everyone assumes that if it's an emergency, somebody else has already called the police. There have been 

countless stories of a person's having a heart attack on a 

crowded street while people just walked by. Nobody does 

anything because they assume somebody else will; alternatively, they think that since nobody else is doing anything, 

the person must be okay.

When there is a diffusion of responsibility, the impetus 

to act just isn't there. If you want answers or if you want

somebody to do something, you have to increase his responsibility. This is best accomplished by appealing to one 

person at a time. If you get nowhere with the first person, 

go to the next and appeal to him. 

Scenario A

Several of your sorority sisters pulled a practical joke and 

you want to find out who is responsible.

Sample question formation I: "Eileen, I'm coming 

to you for one reason and one reason only. I know I can 

trust you to tell me the truth. You can trust me like I 

can trust you. You're not like they are. I know I can count 

on you to do the right thing." If you don't get anywhere 

with her, go to the next person with the same speech. Some 

body will crack. 

Sample question formation II: "Jennifer, who did this 

is not important. I don't even cafe. What is, is our friendship. I want to know that I can trust you. I think I can, but 

I need for you to speak honestly with me. It's not that I'm 

so concerned with who did it—only that you are truthful 

with me about it." If you don't get anywhere with her, go 

to someone else with the same speech.

8

Professional Reliance

From attorneys and plumbers to mechanics and teachers, 

we rely on professionals to be honest and fair. And while 

most are, there are a few who are not.

These situations can be tough because you don't have the 

specific knowledge and expertise to ask the right questions. 

Unfortunately the less-than-reputable professional is all too 

aware of this. And while your clues to deception will let you 

know what kind of person you're dealing with, the following 

strategy will prove useful in these situations.

1. Always, if possible, get a second opinion. It's easy to do 

and can save you a lot of heartache. 

2. Make sure the person is licensed, insured, and registered 

to do the actual work. 

3. Have your agreement drawn up in writing. Oral contracts 

aren't worth the paper they're written on. 

4. Ask for referrals or testimonials. 

If he balks at any one of these points, you might want to 

take your business elsewhere. The con artist operates best 

when you're in the dark.

Finally, the following strategy should give you an accurate insight into the person's intentions. The key is to ask 

for the opposite of what you really want. 

Scenario A

Let's say that your travel agent suggests the Five-Day Cruise 

Getaway vacation package for you. You're looking to really 

let loose; you want a trip that will be non-stop fun. But 

you're not sure if she's pushing this package for the 

commission or if she really believes that it's a great deal.

Sample question formation: "The brochure looks great, 

Sandy. I just want to make sure that this is not one of those 

party boats. I'm looking for some rest and relaxation. Is this 

that kind of trip?"

By asking your question this way, you will know the intentions of your travel agent and the answer to your question. If she answers yes, than you know that the cruise is 

not for you or she is lying to get your business. Either way 

you are not going to book this cruise through her. Only by 

telling you what she thinks you don't want to hear will she 

establish herself as honest, and you'll have confirmed that 

this is the cruise you want to go on.

Scenario B

You asked your waiter for decaffeinated coffee and five 

minutes later the busboy comes bywith a filled cup of coffee.

Sample question formation: "This is regular coffee, 

right?" If he confirms that it is, either he doesn't care 

enough to know for sure or it really is regular. Again, either

way, you now know that you may not be getting what 

you asked for. However, should he tell you that it is decaffeinated—something he thinks you don't want—then you 

can be pretty sure that you're getting what you originally 

asked for.

9

I Don't Know and I Don't Care

Few things are more frustrating than dealing with someone 

who just doesn't give a damn. Why? Because you don't have 

a whole lot to work with. You've got zero leverage. He's got 

nothing at risk, so you've got little bargaining power. Here's 

how to get some. You simply have to change the equation 

so he's got something at stake. This technique is the ultimate 

apathy buster. 

Scenario A

You take your car to the mechanic and he tells you it will 

be fixed by Friday. But you just know that something's 

going to come up and it will be sitting in his garage 

all weekend.

Sample question formation: "Okay, Joe. Tomorrow's 

fine. Just so you know, my wife is pregnant and she's due 

any day. That's our only car, so if you can think of any 

reason why it may not be ready by Friday, you've got to let 

me know now."

Scenario B

You ask the waiter if there is MSG, an additive that some 

people are allergic to, in the salad and he tells you there 

isn't. He doesn't seems terribly convincing and you just 

want to make sure.

Sample question formation: "Okay, Albert, that's great. 

Just so you know I'm deathly allergic to MSG. One forkful 

and it's off to the hospital I go." After hearing this, do you 

think Albert may want to double-check with the chef?

Notice that the equation changes in these two scenarios. 

Initially neither the mechanic nor the waiter is terribly concerned about your schedule or what you're eating. However, 

their apathy quickly gives way to concern because now 

they're dealing with more than just an inconvenience. Simply change the stakes and the leverage is yours.

10 

I Just 

Heard

Most people who lie usually confide in at least one other 

person. Getting the truth from this person can be done easily, if it's done right. It's important to let this person believe 

that you already know the truth and then add your emotional reaction to it. Adding an emotion makes you appear 

genuine because the fact that you know the truth is 

overshadowed by your reaction to it. Simply use an emotion 

that best fits the situation, such as sympathy, surprise, fear, 

joy, concern, humour, and so on.

Let's take a look at a couple of general statements that 

would be said to the person whom you believe knows the 

truth: 

1. Sympathy: "I can't believe what Sam did. I am truly very, 

very sorry. If there's anything I can do for you or what 

ever, please just let me know, okay?" 

2. Concern: "I just found out; how dare they do that to Kim? 

I've got a good mind to go down there myself and give 

them hell. How are you holding up through all this?" 

3. Humour: "Mary, is Joe a magnet for odd things or 

what? 

He just told me and I still can't believe it." 

Make sure you act as if your suspicion is true and let this 

person assume that you already have knowledge of it. Then 

offer the appropriate emotional response and you have maximum credibility.

DIRECTING  THE CONVERSATION

You can steer a conversation in any direction that you 

choose. Take this example. Let's say that while you are at 

a friend's house, she shows you her brand-new dining room 

table. If you want to know if it was really expensive, would 

asking directly be your best bet? Usually not, because she

may get a little defensive. But if you said to your friend 

that it's the most gorgeous table you have ever seen, what 

might she respond with? You guessed it—how expensive 

it was! If you said, "This looks like it cost a fortune. How 

could you spend so much on a table?" what response 

might you get? She would tell you about its quality and 

the craftsmanship that went into it. When you say it's 

expensive, she'll talk about the quality. If you say that it 

looks beautiful, she'll tell you about the cost. By asking the 

right questions you can steer the conversation in any 

direction you want and elicit the information that you 

need.

You can also control the mode of the response as well. 

Have you ever noticed the ritual that takes place when you 

pass someone in the hall or on the elevator? You smile, she 

smiles. You smile and nod, she smiles and nods. You give a 

hello, and then she will usually speak as well. 

The one who responds to the situation first is the one 

who controls the mode of the exchange.

The same goes for the pace of a conversation. Try this 

on your own. Ask someone an open-ended question—a 

question that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no— 

slowly and deliberately. Watch how the other person takes 

his time to respond. Then ask a question speaking quickly, 

and the answer is sure to be paced at a similar rate.

In order to best detect deceit you may want to guide the 

conversation in a particular direction. You can do this 

very efficiently with just a few well-chosen words. After he 

makes a statement, you can use the following key words 

to direct the flow of information in any way that you 

choose. They can be used to extract information from any 

conversation.

1. Meaning . . . Saying this word after he speaks directs 

his thinking and the conversation toward the larger picture, giving you a better look at his overall position. He 

will offer the reason for the position he's taken.

Example I

"I'm the highest-paid person at this institution."

"Meaning?"

"That I'm the only one with the experience and education to do this job. I've worked my way up the ladder 

over a fifteen-year period."

Example II

"I'm in charge of the entire operation."

"Meaning?"

"That the boss put me in charge when he left. If you've 

got any problems, you'll have to deal with me."

2. And . . . This one-word response gives you more lateral 

information. You'll be able to gather additional facts related 

to his position. 

Example I

"I'm sorry, but that's the best we can do." 

"And . . ."

"The offer is as it stands. We've looked at the pricing 

schedule and delivery options three times." 

Example II "I'm in charge of the entire operation."

"And . . ."

"That means everything—inventory, scheduling, and 

employee relations."

3. So . . . This response makes him get more specific, 

giving you the details of his position.

Example I

"I offer the best level of medical care you can get."

"So . . ."

"If you came to me, I'd give you a full blood workup and 

x-rays as just part of the standard check-up."

Example II

"Our company guarantees you job security."

"So . . ."

"If you ever had to take a leave of absence, your job would 

be here for you."

4. Now . . . This response makes him translate his position 

into a specific action. He will proceed to tell you 

exactly what he means and how it applies to you.

Example I

"Our policy is to stand behind our shareholders."

"Now ..."

"You can either follow us or go out on your own. It's up to 

you."

Example II

"We offer the best guarantee in the business."

"Now . . ."

"You can sign here, and we'll get the paperwork going."

GETTING SPECIFIC

Sometimes you'll get an answer, but it doesn't do you much 

good. Here are some great ways for narrowing a vague response to give you a more direct, truthful answer. The two 

main areas regard thoughts and actions. The following responses show how to draw out a specific answer. 

I. In Response to an Opinion or Belief

Example I

'I don't think the meeting went very well. "

"How come?" (broad response) 

"I just don't, all right?!"

Some responses will produce a more productive response: 

"Compared with what?" "How poorly did it go?"

If you ask for clarification, the person feels more obligated to respond. Asking a broad question in response to a 

general statement just produces more of the same.

II. In Response to a Reluctance to Commit

Example A 

"I don't know f I could."

"What do you mean, you don't know?" (broad

response) 

“I just don’t know, all right?” 

Example B

"I don't know if I could."

"Why can't you?" (broad response)

"I don't know. I just can't. "

Some responses will produce a more productive response: 

"What, specifically^, prevents you?" "What would have 

to happen for you to be able to?" "What would change 

if you did?"

Do you see how specific responses narrow the answer? 

Use this technique whenever you want to clarify a broad or 

ambiguous answer. 

LET THE TRUTH BE TOLD

What simple words work better than any others? These 

three do:

Because: We're programmed to accept an explanation as 

valid if it follows this word.

Let's: This word generates a group atmosphere and initiates the bandwagon effect. It's a positive word that creates 

action.

Try: This little word is a powerful motivator because it 

implies that you will be unsuccessful, so it instils a "what's 

the harm" mentality. We all love to try things. The 

following sentence uses all three words in a construction 

that makes absolutely no sense, yet seems like it should.

"Let's give it a try because if it doesn't work we can always go back to the way it was. "

Clearly you haven't introduced any reason for the person to take action. Yet it seems to make sense just the same.

A person will get defensive only if he feels he's under 

attack, so why attack? Let's look at the benefits of using 

these words to get to the truth.

"Did you take five dollars from petty cash?" 

"Why did you take five dollars from petty cash?" 

"Stop taking money from petty cash!"

What do all these phrases havein common? They're all 

accusatory and likely to produce an automatic "I didn't do 

it" response. If you wanted to know if he took the money, 

simply say, "The money that we take from petty cash? Let's 

try to keep it fewer than ten dollars at a time, because it 

works out better that way." Doyou see how kind this statement is? It's easier to get tothe truth because no one feels 

like he has to defend himself.

Use these words—because, let's, and try—whenever you 

want to gain information without sounding accusatory or 

demanding.

TAKING CONTROL
Now you're fully equipped to get the truth from any situation or conversation. But you can't operate if you can't get
a word in edgewise. If you'rein a situation where you are
unable to speak because the person keeps talking or interrupting, the following are some great ways to get the floor.
These seventeen zingers will stun them into silence. Use
whichever one(s) you feel are most appropriate for the situation. They play on two susceptible angles of human nature—ego and curiosity.
1. "You're a smart person; let me ask you a question."
2. "Let me get your opinion on something."
3. "May I be the first person in your presence to finish a
sentence?"
4. "Don't show your ignorance by interrupting."
5. "I'm sorry if the facts conflict with your opinion, but I
would like to know ..."
6. "Maybe you can help me with something."
7. "I know that you would want me to ask you this."
8. "You're the only person who would know the answer to
this."
9. "I hope this news doesn't upset you."
10. "Before you say anything else, answer this question."
11. "I want to give my full attention to what you're saying,
so let me just get this out of the way."
12. "I hope this doesn't offend you, but..."
13. "I don't want you to miss this."
14. "This is the last time you'll hear this."
15. "Do you have a good memory? Great, then you won't
forget this."
16. "I'm sorry if the middle of my sentence ran into the
beginning of yours."
17. "Along those lines . . ." It's easy to change the conversation when you begin with the other person's last
thoughts